I will NOT get you a glass of water...

A short, short story for anyone who cares. I'm in the process of writing another story about video game testing, but it's taking awhile. Also, I'm getting to the point of the story where I think, "Does anyone care about this?" and almost ditching it like I've done with quite a few stories...


I live in a new subdivision in Omaha. It's pretty nice that we got to move into a neighborhood that's new because almost everybody that's moved in is around the same age with kids of varying ages. That's kind of what attracted us to build a new house. THAT and the ability for my wife to pick exactly what she wants in the house, price be damned! But that's another story...

Including my daughter, there are about 9 or 10 kids that play on our end at any given time. The run around. The chase each other. They ride bikes. They play on Julia's swingset. They jump on the trampoline.

Not that I'm complaining, but one of the drawback of having that many kids in your house or your neighborhood that they invariably will want to eat, get a drink of water or use your bathroom.

The eating is not so bad. I just offer them something that I know they'll turn down and they turn it down without asking for something else. What? You don't want to eat a peanut butter and Miracle Whip sandwich? To each their own.

Before I kept a tab on this, Julia was grabbing stuff out of the pantry and feeding her friends everything from cheese puffs to potato chips, which would leave a lot of evidence behind that she was doing thing, unless the cheese puffs all over the floor are lying to me...

Which brings me to a point. Is it impossible for kinds 3 to 6 to not eat chips, crackers or popcorn without spilling them all over the floor? Either Julia dumps the bowl that she was balancing on her knee on the floor or the floor is littered with remnants from her eating. She has popcorn as a snack a lot and the floor is littered with kernels and puffed corn remnants. It's like she eats like the Cookie Monster with popcorn spraying every where.

What is irritating are the requests for drinks. Usually, it centers on someone (me) getting a kid a glass of water. Water isn't usually what they ask for. Usually they ask for some juice or milk, but since Julia tends to not drink either, I don't have it to give to them. This is usually followed by exasperated looks like they cannot believe that any sane person wouldn't have a juice box for a begging kid. So I give them a glass of water, which they drink about two drinks of, set down and leave it for me or the cats to knock over. All that effort for two drinks? I guess you could say that I'm the moron for giving them drinks that they won't finish.

I set this all up to tell this short story...

The other day, I was mowing my lawn. It was after work on a weekday and I was trying to get my lawn mowed before it got dark. Plus, I had a limited amount of gas, so I was trying to squeeze out the mowing on 1/3 of a tank before I ran out. Like any time I mow, I move fast so that I can get sort of a workout in.

I'm about halfway done with the back yard trying to finish up the mow job when Andy, the kid from two houses down saunters up. He's about 9-years-old and one of the oldest kids on our side of the block.

He yells, "Bob! Bob"

I turn my head, see Andy, turn off the mower, pull my walkman CD player out of my pocket and turn it off. I pull the headphones out of my ears.

"What?" I breathe heavily as I've been working up a sweat.

"Can I have a glass of water?"

I stare at him. Here I am sweating my ass off trying to mow the lawn and Andy is asking me for a glass of water.

"I'd get it myself, but Moe won't let me inside." Moe is one of our cats and he hates people, or at least, other people. He loves me and my family, but is incredibly vicious to strangers. He's been known to lunge at the kids and pat them with his paws because he's annoyed with the kids.

Andy must have opened the door, seen Moe there and Moe hissed at him, so he didn't risk walking in.

"I think he might bite me," Andy finished.

I looked over at Andy's house just two houses away.

"No offense, but isn't your house right over there? Can't you go to your own house to get a drink?"

"I guess so," he said smiling.

I immediately felt a little bad. Well, not really bad, but just a little. After all, I was never given the kind of slack these neighborhood kids get. I don't think they realize how good they have it. I may give them glasses of water while they're inside my house, but I will NOT get them a glass of water when I'm mowing. That's where I draw the line...