Mini Laura rocks and rolls without studying...

Julia is in first grade and as such, she thinks that she now knows everything. I think the success has gone to her head. She recently got a certificate from her teacher proclaiming her a dynamite speller. I think that has gone to her head, or she's just starting to figure out the politics of school.

You see in her class there are two lists for the students. They all take List A as the pretest. If you do well on the pretest, you have to take the much harder List B words at the end of the week. Julia grumbles about that big time because they are much harder.

Last two quarters of school, Julia was diligent about studying her list of words for the Friday test, but I've noticed that she's been a little lax about it.

Last night, I asked her at dinner how she did on her spelling test. She got an 8 out of 10.

I asked, "Eight out of 10? Didn't you study?"

I mean, not to put any pressure on her, but she usually always gets 10 out of 10.

Julia sighed and said, "Look Daddy, I don't need to study because I rock and roll better on the spelling tests without studying."

Laura had to suppress a laugh at that.

"You 'rock' and 'roll' on the spelling test?" I asked.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I'm good at them. And I don't have to study."

"Well, I got news for you, kid. The spelling words are just going to get harder, so you have to keep studying so you know how to spell correctly."

I forget what she said next, but I'm sure it came with an eye roll and a sigh.

Mini Laura loses a tooth...

Laura tells me that at work, they call Julia, Mini Laura, or Laura's Mini Me because she has a lot of the same mannerisms as Laura.

I've kind of noticed that myself. For a seven-year-old girl, Julia talks rather grown up sometimes.

The other night, Julia was messing with her loose tooth. It's one of the top, front teeth. I suggested that I try to yank it out, but she wouldn't let me near it. Finally, she relented, but when my big tug didn't pull it out, she screamed and forbade me from trying again.

The next day, it came out when she was at our after-school care provider's house. Michelle, the provider I mentioned, told us that Julia was playing with the loose tooth and offered to pull it out for her.

Julia told her and I quote, "Listen. You don't understand. I have an issue with this. I don't like pain."

3-d movies

I have a soft spot for 3D movies. I remember the first time I went to see a 3D movie, it was for the third part in the Friday the 13th series called Friday the 13th 3D.



I was handed my glasses and sat with my brother, Bill. We were just in 5th grade and were tagging along with my older brothers to this R-rated movie. The screen went dark and the first sequence where the credits came out of the screen in a 3-D shadow effect blew me away. The letters seemed to be coming out of the screen and I could almost touch them.

Throughout the movie, various objects came out of the screen: popcorn, a tv antenna, a pole, a spear, a knife, an exploding eyeball and various other objects. Besides the gratuitous violence, I was hooked on the 3-D effect. We went to see part 4 of the movie series with some friends when we were in junior high, but it didn't really have that same excitement as the 3-D did.

From that point on, Bill and I made a point to see pretty much every 3-D movie that came out. Some were memorable. Some were so unforgettable that I can barely even muster a few seconds of recollection.



Treasure of the Four Crowns - I would describe this plot, but I can barely remember the film. The only thing that I remember was the constant barrage of 3-D effects that came at the screen. There were so many of them that you could barely keep up with the plot, which had something to do with a missing treasure. Basically, it was a bad Indiana Jones rip-off. Plus, I remember that the 3-D effects were subpar. There was a sequence where all these birds flew at the screen and the effect split as it was coming off the screen, which ruined the 3-D.



Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone - I would describe this plot also, but I can barely remember seeing this. All I remember was that nothing flew out at the screen, it had Molly Ringwald in it and it was boring as hell.



Jaws 3-D - The movie that broke the back of 3-D movies for those of us in small town Grand Island. After this one, we didn't get a sniff of a 3-D movie for years. Bill and I had seen Jaw and Jaw 2 and liked them, but what really drove me to see Jaw 3-D was that it was in 3-D, of course. Were we ever disappointed. Again, there seemed to be a lack of things coming out at the screen, which seems to be the whole point of a 3-D movie. When it finally did, when the shark seems to come out of the screen, it was so brief and fake looking that I almost laughed. I was really disappointed. Besides the fact, the story was horrible and made no sense. So these are the kids of Brody from the first film, one of whom was just a kid and now he's in his 20's less than 10 years later? Oh and a giant shark can practically hide in a Sea World-like place without anyone catching on? Right...



Honey I Shrunk the Audience - It wasn't until December of 1994 that I finally got to see another 3-D movie. This time, it was at Disney World's Epcot Center. This movie still plays today and it still looks good, if not dated since the film is over 15 years old now. The short film centers around Rick Moranis's character, Dr. Wayne Szalinski, from the film Honey, I Shrunk the Kids getting an award for scientist of the year. It's hosted by Eric Idle of Monty Python fame. When the award show starts, Wayne isn't to be found, but then he shows up in a hover craft. He soon loses control of the craft. Through a series of thing that go wrong, the audience gets shrunk. Then while tiny, a dog sneezes on you, a snake hisses at you and the ground shakes. It's a great film, but I wonder how much longer it's going to last. I've seen it about 5 times now over the years.

Muppets 3-D - This was another 3-D movie that we saw at Disney World. It's very dated, but it's still pretty good. The 3-D isn't nearly as good as current movie technology, but it's still cool. Laura and I saw this on our honeymoon and again when we went again when Julia turned 6.

Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over - This is the third movie of the Spy Kids franchise. I hadn't seen the first two films, but considering that I love 3-D movies, I had to see it. It really wasn't that good, though. The plot made no sense and you had to watch the whole thing with the red and blue glasses, which gave the film a redish-blue tint through the whole thing. I was baffled that they would use the old red/blue glasses, but I was even more baffled by the plot, which didn't make any sense. It was painfully bad.

The Polar Express 3-D - I saw this one at the Imax theater at the zoo in Omaha. I wouldn't have gone to see it because it didn't interest me, but since it was in 3-D, I suggested that Julia and I see it. Julia enjoyed it and I thought the 3-D effects really enhanced the movie. For example, in the beginning when it was snowing, you could see the clear separation of the snow flakes. As for the story, I was not blown away at all. The movie involves a kid that doesn't really believe in Santa until he's whisked away on a train called the Polar Express that takes certain kids to the north pole to see Santa off before he starts his Christmas Eve run. It was okay. There was some typical Hollywood detours where the kids get lost at the North Pole and have to circumvent a bunch of stuff that would kill somebody if they were to fall, but it seemed tacked on to make the movie longer. Also, the kid that doesn't believe gets the right to get the first gift from Santa over the poor kid that has never had a Christmas present. I was like, "WTF? Why does the spoiled non-believer get the gift?" Also, Tom Hanks does three of the voices: the train conductor (which he's good at), the train's hobo ghost (which he good at, but it's like 'Oh, now Tom Hanks is the hobo) and Santa Clause (which he's okay at because it's like "Okay... now Tom Hanks is trying to talk like an old Santa). I'm not sure why they thought that Tom Hanks had that much range, but it was distracting for me.

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D - I saw this one by myself when both Julia and Laura were out of town. I've had some neck and back problems over the years, so I have muscle relaxers for those times when I feel my neck start to tighten up from hours of staring at a computer. I wanted to relax for the movie so I took one muscle relaxer. When the movie started, I didn't really feel it kick in, so I took another one. So I remember a lot about the first part of the movie, but the second part was a blur. I remember it ending, but I couldn't tell you what happened from the middle to the end. I drove home in a daze threw off my clothes and fell asleep. 10 hours later, I woke up with all the lights on upstairs and the bedroom tv blaring. Here's a tip: Don't take more than a recommended dose of a muscle relaxer until you are sure how you'll react to them. You just might miss something. So I bought this movie when it came out on 3-D and it is pretty good. Granted, the home edition is with the red/blue glasses, but that's the only way they can release 3-D movies now.

Bolt 3-D - Julia and I saw this. It's a pretty good movie. I thought it would be a lot funnier and the plot bothered me. The premise is that this dog thinks that the show he's on is real life because they do everything in one take, but then I started thinking that this would be absolutely impossible considering the show that they are trying to shoot is a massive spy adventure type show with tons of chases. Then again, I didn't have a problem that the animals can talk to each other and think like humans, so I guess I need to take it with a grain of salt. The 3-D effects were awesome, though.

So this brings me to My Bloody Valentine 3-D, which is a sort-of remake of the original, which wasn't in 3-D and made in Canada. It was one of those slasher movies jumping on the bandwagon after Halloween and Friday the 13th hit it big. The original movie was pretty decent for that type. I remember it shocking me when I was a wee lad of 11 and it was on HBO. The new movie's premise is a little similar in that a guy dressed as a miner with a gas mask is killing people, but that's about it. I'd go into the plot, but it's filled with cliche'd characters: the bitter ex-girlfriend, the rich kid that hasn't been seen for 10 years since the first murders, the young sheriff in over his head, the shady deputy, the grizzled old sheriff, the new sheriff's pregnant lover, and a whole cast of fairly pretty people. I'm serious. For a mining town, the people there look like they've been primped and preened like they were getting ready for their publicity stills. Every scene includes extras that look like they were pulled out of a casting call for the other characters. So the plot, which I said I wouldn't explain, starts 10 years after the insane miner escapes from police custody after coming out of a coma and kills a bunch of people. Now people are dying again. Most of them seem tied to the old cases. Because it's 3-D, there are a lot of things being thrown onscreen at you: guns, eyeballs, other body parts and lots and lots of pickaxes. And because it's a slasher movie, there are a lot of red herrings and people too dumb to call the police instead of running and trying to escape out windows. One scene in particular has two people trying to barricade themselves in an office, but fail to call for help on the office phone and then they finally trigger the security alarm. I commented to Laura, "Oh, now you pull the alarm?" All in all, it was a decent 3-D movie. It was on the new all-digit theater complex here which I read has a special silver screen for 3-D and movie is shown at 100 frames a second to achieve the crystal clear 3-D effect.

It's called '101' because it's tricky...

Julia and I were at the YMCA the other day. Laura was working out while we swam. It's a normal routine thing. I don't mind it so much because I can swim a few laps. Julia even joins me on some of the laps. She recently has been taking some swim classes and has gotten a lot better at swimming. It's a welcome change from when she was deathly afraid of going into the deeper end of the pool.

Usually when we swim, we'll have races to see who can get to an underwater object the fastest, she'll swim under me like I'm a bridge, she'll ride my like some sea horse around the pool and various other games.

I thought that I would try to teach her the game Marco Polo. I've never played it, but I think I got the hang of the rules.

One person who is "It" swims around with his/her eyes closed and yell "Marco!". The other people in the game yell, "Polo!" and avoid getting tagged. I attempted to teach Julia this game.

"I'll go first," I said.

I closed my eyes and started swimming.

"Marco!" I yelled.

No response...

"Marco!" I yelled.

No response still...

I opened my eyes. Julia is just staring at me.

"I said 'Marco!'" I exclaimed.

"I know." Julia said.

"Then let's play it," I said.

"It looks too hard."

So that was it. We started swimming around again, but she didn't seem to want to do it.

"I've got a game!" Julia exclaimed happily. "It's called '101'"

"How do you play it?" I asked skeptically.

"OK... You swim around, OK?"

I nodded.

"Swim around with your eyes closed. And you try to find me," she continued.

"Wait..."

"And the mushroom (the spouting water fountain in the pool) is base."

"Wait a second... I'm supposed to swim around with my eyes closed and look for you?"

"Yes," Julia said.

"How am I supposed to find you though if I can't see? Are you going to be making any noise?" I asked.

"No!" Julia exclaimed. "You just have to find me!"

"Why is it called '101'?" I asked.

"It's called '101' because it's tricky. So come on! Let's play!"

"Oh, all right..."

"You go first."

So I closed my eyes and started swimming around. I grasped around the pool area in front of me. I felt a leg and grabbed at it.

"Gotcha!" I exclaimed.

"No!" Julia retorted. "This is base, Daddy. And you can't get me when I'm at base."

"What's base?" I asked.

"Base is this (pointed to fountain thing that she was sitting under), the ladders and the slide."

"Oh... okay." I said.

I closed my eyes again and started swimming around. I swam until I thought I heard her. I swam faster and felt her close. I lunged forward and grabbed her.

"Aha!" I exclaimed.

I opened my eyes and saw to my horror that I had not grabbed Julia, but I had grabbed another little girl about her age.

I muttered a very hurried and apologetic, "Sorry! Wrong Person" and looked around for Julia. She was all the way on the other side of the pool by the ladder to the water slide.

"Julia!" I yelled as I swam over.

"Why aren't you over there where I was?"

"Because I was hiding from you!"

"Well, you weren't where I was and I ended up grabbing someone else that wasn't you!" I explained.

I looked around and saw the girl that I had grabbed. I started worrying that someone had saw me grab her and totally saw me as some sick, twisted child predator that used his daughter as an excuse to grab total strangers. Being the paranoid person that I am, I also started to worry that someone was calling the cops as we spoke because the creepy guy with the beard was stalking other people's kids. It's not a pleasant thought picturing yourself trying to explain to the police that you weren't purposely trying to grab other kids. I didn't want it to be like a scene out of Little Children where the former child molester is dragged from a pool for swimming around kids because he wanted to cool off. I pictured myself getting dragged away screaming, "I was just playing 101! It's very tricky!"

So even after that incident, Julia still wanted to play 101.

I told her, "No."

"Because," I told her. "I don't want to be swimming around with my eyes closed looking for you when you're going to be no where near me and then I grab another strange kid again. That could get me into a lot of trouble. People might think that I'm a weirdo."

Julia wasn't buying it because she started moping. She really wanted to play the game that she had made up.

When Laura showed up after her workout, Julia told her that she was mad at me, of course, but when I explained why she was mad, Laura was on my side.

The next time we went swimming, I groaned when Julia said that she wanted to play 101 again.

"No!!" I exclaimed.

"Come on!"

"No!"

"Please!?"

"Oh," I started to give in, "All right."

Julia smiled.

"But... You have to be it first. I'll go hide while you swim around."

She agreed.

I got as far away as I could and waited. She started swimming and swimming around the pool, but didn't find me.

Julia finally gave up, opened her eyes and swam over to me. She said, "Okay, Daddy. Rule change: You can open your eyes."

I guess 101 was too tricky for her...