Now... where's that crowbar?

There are lots of offers lately for home security by several companies. The commercials for these services seem to imply that whenever you're alone, or whenever it's dark, or alone when its dark, criminals are going to get you!

I'm not sure if it's just one company or if all of them do this, but the ads can certainly scare the crap out of any tentative person out there.

One commercial shows a man kissing his wife goodbye as he's leaving the house to go to work. As he's backing out of the driveway, he passes a man who's jogging. Inside, she closes the door and turns on the home security. Just then, the jogger stops jogging, puts up his hood and kicks down the door! She screams, but he's startled when the loud alarm goes off. She gets a call that asks her if she needs help.

So apparently, if you live in the suburbs, criminals are going to kick your door down in broad daylight immediately after someone leaves their house. Wouldn't they try to see if the door was unlocked first? Wouldn't the criminal try to get in without force? You know, by knocking on the door and asking to use the phone because their car broke down? That's how it usually seems to happen on the news.

Another commercial shows a family getting startled out of their sleep by a hooded criminal with a crowbar that has broken a side window and is trying to get in. The family panics, huddles together and breathes a sigh of relief when the burglar runs away and the security company calls them.

Yet another commercial shows a teenager's parents leaving for a night out. She tells them to have fun and right when she arms the house, she hears a noise. Thinking that her parents have forgotten something, she starts for the door when 'CRASH!' a hooded figure with a crowbar is crashing through the window and starting to climb through when the alarm scares him away.

A few things I notice here. In the suburbs at night, criminals are very prone to breaking into houses with visible activity as opposed to those houses that are obviously empty with the occupants out of town. It must be like flies to a bug light. They can't help themselves but to break in. I'm sure the security sign out front was also like bait for the burglar. They see the sign and figure that it's a house that has a lot of stuff to steal, so they take a chance to break in with as loud a noise as possible.

When our family had a break in when I was growing up in Grand Island, it was not a result of having a security system that we had just armed. Rather, it was a direct result of us not locking our doors. It was at night, but rather than crashing through the nearest large glass window with a crowbar, the burglars seemed to sneak in because we didn't hear them. It was only when morning came that we noticed that something was wrong when the sliding glass door to our patio was wide open. That and the television being gone seemed to send that red flag up. I guess they didn't read the stereotyping manual.

For sure, there are reports of home invasions and of people breaking down the door, but like I said, those seem rarer than a silent break in.

Also, one flaw with all home security services is that if your alarm goes off, they call you first to see if you need help. Now if your door has just been knocked down and the loud alarm doesn't scare off the intruder, are you really going to take the time to answer the phone?

It is a kind of odd way to advertise your product, by showing potential customers the worst case scenario.

Also, one of the things that they tell you when you're pitched by the security companies is that one of the biggest deterrents you can have for a home security system is to have a sign out front that tells the whole world that you're protected. That'd actually be a nice commercial...

I can picture the pitch meeting at the advertising agency. One guy gets up and tells about a commercial that shows a dark street with a family sleeping peacefully in their beds. While the camera pans through the house, a burglar is slowly walking down the street. He keeps seeing the security signs in the front yards of potential houses. He stops in front of our potential victim's house. He sees their sign, thinks twice about it and keeps moving. Meanwhile, the family inside sleeps soundly.

Then you have another guy stand up who says, "Picture this: A family gets the living shit scared out of them by a burglar in a hood crashing through their window with a crowbar! It's only the loud alarm and the security company calling to see if help is needed that saves the family!"

Some people say, "Good one!" and "I like it!"

"The message is: get our security system or your family is going to die!"

The president of the ad agency smiles and says, "Let's run with it!"

I guess it would be too boring to show scores of houses not being broken into. Kind of like having an advertisement for a casino that only shows what's more likely, the people inside losing their asses while gambling. Instead, you only see scores of people jumping for joy at all the winning that's going on.