We get outed as the Easter Bunny...

There was an episode of a show Julia watches called the Fairly Odd Parents that was about lying and it made me lie to her.

The show is a cartoon about a kid named, Timmy, who has two Fairy God Parents. They grant his every wish, but most often, his wishes go horribly wrong and he has to scramble to fix the messes he made before finally wishing that everything was back to normal. One such episode featured Timmy realizing that his parents had lied to him. He asked them, "Have you ever lied to me?" after wishing that they couldn't lie to him anymore. Of course, they had to answer 'Yes'.

He storms out all upset at his parents. Feeling guilty, they decide to go through all their home videos to write down all the times they lied to Timmy. Right off the bat, the very first tape has Timmy asking, "Where did I come from?"

His Mom answers, "The stork."

"Wow!" his Dad says. "That didn't take long!"

While watching this, Julia turned to me and asked, "Dad, have you or Mom ever lied to me?"

I gulped, paused and said, "No, of course not."

I thought to myself, "Unless you count just now and all the other times I lied to you."

Parents have to lie to keep their kids happy. You have to lie about tons of stuff on Christmas by telling them that an old man will enter your house while you're asleep, leave presents and fly away with the help of his magic flying reindeer and weighted down by a bottomless sack of gifts made by elves.

Then they lose teeth and you have to tell them a magical fairy is going to break into your house, steal your tooth and leave you money.

Along comes Easter and a bunny breaks into your house, doesn't shit in it or chew anything up, but manages to leave you eggs, candy or whatever gift he feels like.

One time, we actually forgot to leave money for Julia's tooth. I woke her up for school and she looked at me like I had just spit in her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She flipped up her pillow and said, "The tooth fairy didn't come for my tooth."

Doh!

We assured her that the tooth fairy must have been very busy. Sure enough, the next morning arrived with a note apologizing for the busy night and double the money. Crisis averted!

Friday, like a Dateline episode about a guy living a double life, our lies caught up with us.

I was Spring Break for Julia's school. I was at working from home on my computer, so Julia was fending for herself.

She asked me to come upstairs and help me get an Easter basket she saw on the top shelf of the closet, which I did. Later, Laura came home to find that basket and a bunch of Easter eggs scattered all over the floor. These were Easter eggs that we were going to have the Easter bunny give Julia.

Laura asked, "Where did you get these eggs, Julia?"

Julia said, "In the closet in the guest bedroom."

Laura checked out the guest bedroom and found her worst fears confirmed, that Julia had found the stash of Easter goodies that she was supposed to get from the Easter bunny, which also included a package from Build-a-bear.

Laura called me from upstairs.

"Umm... Bob! Can you come here? We have a little problem!"

I ran upstairs and found her in the guest bedroom. Julia was sitting on the bed near hear.

"Julia found the Easter stash, which includes the Build-a-Bear."

I looked over to Julia, who was trying not to smile too big, but you could sort of tell that she was caught halfway between excitement and dread. I think she was waiting for a punishment of some sort.

"Julia," Laura asked. "Did you find see what's inside the Build-a-Bear box?"

Julia said, "Yes. I did. I saw it in the closet and I was like 'I wonder what's in there?'. When I saw that it was a Build-a-bear, I got really excited because I love Build-a-bear. So then I was thinking 'I wonder if they're going to give that to me for Easter'. So are you going to give that to me for Easter?"

Laura said, "Well, yes. You were going to get that for Easter, but it was supposed to come from the Easter bunny."

"Uh huh."

"And who do you think the Easter bunny is?" Laura asked.

"Umm... You guys?"

"Maybe. Are you okay with that?" Laura asked.

"Sure," Julia said.

Laura frowned at me. I could see that she seemed a little sad that Julia no longer believed in the Easter bunny. I didn't feel bad at all. She is almost 8 after all. And I don't think that I even believed in the Easter bunny when I was growing up. Santa Claus? Sure. But a bunny that hops along, manages to get into your house and leaves without waking everyone from all the hoping he does hiding eggs? I didn't quite buy it. Besides, Easter wasn't really that big of a holiday for us. Yes, I got a small Easter basket, but I never got presents. Nowadays, kids get a gift, which boggles my mind.

Later, we're driving in the car on the way to the YMCA.

I started asking a few more probing questions.

"So Julia. When I was working downstairs did you start exploring because you were looking for something to do?"

"Yes."

"And that's why you stumbled upon the Easter stuff?"

"Yes."

"Oh," Laura retorted. "You mean Daddy ignored you while you were upstairs by yourself all day?"

"Yep" Julia responded way too quickly for my taste.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "I had to work!"

So we still have the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus to fall back on.

As luck would have it, she lost a tooth that same day. She was obviously expecting her pay out from the Tooth Fairy. Seeing as how we screwed up once before, I'm bound and determined not to let it happen again. I insisted that she put it on the desk next to her bed. I explained that it would be easier for the Tooth Fairy to get in and out. Thankfully, she bought it...