The Brownie Emporium

Here's a short story about having to lie to your kids, which as a parent, you tend to have to do from time to time. Looking back, I now wonder how many times my parents had to lie to us to do things...

...

A while back, it was my birthday. Normally on my birthday we celebrate it like usual with a dinner at Red Lobster. We started this habit because one of my favorite things to eat is Snow Crab legs.

On this day, Laura wasn't interested in going to Red Lobster because she just wasn't in the mood for seafood, so she hinted that I think of another suggestion. I always pass the Cheesecake Factory on the way to work. I had never been there, but since one arrived in the city, I had seen people at work with take out cheesecakes from there.

Seeing as I also love cheesecake, I suggested that we go there. Laura also loves cheesecake, so she was on board. The problem came when it was time to tell Julia where we were going.

She already has some favorite places to go. She's been to Applebee's a few times, so she likes that place. She also loves to go to Red Lobster because she likes to look at the live lobsters in the tank near the front. Getting Julia on board for the Cheesecake Factory took some convincing and when that didn't work, a little manipulation.

I came home from work that day and announced to Julia that we were going out to eat.

"Yay!" Julia shouted. "Where are we going?"

"We going to go to the Cheesecake Factory!" I said.

Julia wrinkled her nose and said, "No! I don't want to go to the Cheesecake Factory!"

"Julia," I said. "You've never even been to the Cheesecake Factory. How do you know that you don't want to go?"

"I don't like the Cheesecake Factory!" Julia said matter of factly.

"Julia," I pleaded. "The Cheesecake Factory doesn't just have cheesecakes. It has chicken strips with fries that you like."

"I don't want to go to the Cheesecake Factory!" Julia exclaimed and did a little hurumph move with by folding her arms with a downward gesture.

I think the problem was that Julia didn't understand what a cheesecake was. I remember when I was a kid, I thought that cheesecakes were made with actual cheese. That surely didn't sound like a pleasant mixture. Little did I know that there was such a thing as cream cheese that was different than the usual cheese. I'm sure that's what she thought, too. We were were getting more and more frustrated with getting her to understand that there were other things than a cheesecake at the restaurant. But looking at it from her side, I suppose if my parents wanted to take me to a place called The Liver and Onions Warehouse, I would have stomped my foot, too.

So I came up with a bit of deception to get the trip moving. It was getting a little late and we didn't want to have to wait for a table. Arguing with Julia had already wasted 10 minutes.

I said, "Okay Julia. We're not going to the Cheesecake Factory."

Laura looked puzzled, "We're not?"

"No," I said, "we're going to the Brownie Emporium."

Julia perked up a little. "The Brownie Em... Em...," she was starting to ask.

"Emporium," I said. "It's a restaurant that specializes in brownies."

"That's right," Laura said catching on. "We're going to a different restaurant."

"Brownies?" Julia asked to herself and somewhat to us. You could see her mulling it over in her 5-year-old mind. She liked brownies for sure.

"Okay!" Julia said. "Let's go!"

So off we went to the "Brownie Emporium". On the way there, I muttered to Laura, "What if they announce 'Welcome to the Cheesecake Factory' to us? Julia will know for sure that she's been tricked."

Laura winced, "We'll just have to see what happens."

As we pulled up to the Cheesecake Factory, Julia asked, "What does the sign say?"

Seeing as she's still learning to read, I said, "The Brownie Emporium" with a flair of my hands.

We got out of the car and walked towards the restaurant. Surprisingly, we were not given a "Welcome to The Cheesecake Factory" greeting at the door. Once we're seated, however, we did get the greeting.

The waiter arrived and said, "Welcome to the Cheesecake Factory! My name is (whatever it was) and I'll be your waiter tonight."

We winced and lookd over at Julia, who gave a little blemish of recognition that the name that was just announced didn't quite jive with what we told her. She gave a brief confused look, but didn't say anything.

Any doubts about the restaurant were dashed when she found out about the chicken fingers and fries, her favorite meal. At desert time, she tried some of our cheesecakes and enjoyed them.

Finally, when we're minutes away from leaving, I asked, "Guess where we just ate, Julia?"

"Where?" Julia asked.

"The Cheesecake Factory!" I exclaimed with a smile.

Julia gave a look of surprise and said, "Ohh!" If she was mad for being deceived, she sure didn't show it. I hated having to lie, but sometimes you need to lie to get this kid to go somewhere she doesn't want to go.