Lauraism #2 - If I'd known that I'd be freezing my ass off, I might not have lost all this weight.

Laura is on a diet. She's lost over 50 pounds as of now.

The difference is striking. We were looking at photos from last Christmas. The ones of her look like a different person.

Her response to me?

"Why didn't you tell me that I was that fucking fat?"

Yes, Laura can make a sailor blush with her salty sea language sometimes.

My response to her question?

"Yeah, that would have gone over well. (Me talking like it was last Christmas) 'Heffer, you've got to lose some weight.'"

So the last few winters Laura has tried to freeze me out. She hardly had any blankets on her and even had a fan pointed at her while she slept because she'd get so hot.

Meanwhile, I was freezing my ass off so much that I started to sleep with two fleece stadium blankets on me.

This winter, however, the tables have turned. Now she's the one freezing and I have hardly any blankets on me. We now have a space heater going in our bedroom while Laura is huddled under her blankets up to her neck.

She said at one point, "If I had known that I'd be freezing my ass off in the winter, I might not have lost all this weight. I would have stayed fat."