Apparently, you can't knock on your daughter's window without scaring the living crap out of her...

Thursday night, I had just said good night to Julia and turned off the light. I decided that I would walk to the corner and get our mail from the community mail box tower thing there.

I grabbed the mail key, unlocked the deadbolt of the front door, opened the door and pulled the door knob. As I was pulling the door shut, I noticed that the knob wasn't turning, which meant that while the dead bolt was locked, the knob was locked, but not latched. In my haste to shut the door behind me, I didn't have time to register that the knob wasn't unlocked.

So locked outside, I thought I could either get the mail and then try to get back inside or just start knocking now since I had literally had left just a minute earlier. Surely Julia would let me in

I started knocking. First I knocked lightly. Then I knocked persistently.

No action inside.

I started knocking again. This time, I tried to vary my knocks so it sounded like a code.

Knock! (long knock) Knock-Knock! (two short knocks)

I tried this for a bit. Still no action inside letting me in.

I walked over to Julia's window through the shrubbery and knocked. I tried knocking a few times. Then I walked over to the front door and knocked some more. Still no action inside!

Finally, I started to ring the doorbell.

Nothing...

I rang the doorbell yet again several times.

At last, I saw Laura appear in the doorway of the master bedroom. Finally! She'll let me in.

"Bob!" she yelled. "Answer the door!"

I rang the doorbell again more persistently.

"Bob!" she yelled again while walking forward. At this point, I tried waving my arms.

"Bob! Answer the door!" she kept yelling.

This was getting ridiculous. Surely someone inside would realize that the only person who would be knocking and ringing so persistently when it was this late in the evening would have to be the world's worse burglar or a family member who had locked himself outside. It seems they were thinking it was the burglar.

Finally, Laura walked over to the front door and answered it.

"What in the hell are you doing?!"

"I was locked outside," I said.

I looked over to the staircase to downstairs and noticed Julia creeping up the stairs looking nervous.

"Are you insane knocking on her bedroom window?" Laura asked with some force. "You scared her half to death! She ran to our room yelling, 'Someone's knocking on my window!'"

"I thought she would know that it's me since I just went outside."

"Well, you thought wrong!"

"How else was I supposed to get back inside?" I asked.

"I don't know," Laura said. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you locked yourself outside."

"If I had thought about it," I said. "I wouldn't have locked myself outside."

I tried explaining how I locked myself outside, but she cut me off.

"I don't want to hear it. Your daughter is scared half to death. It's your fault so you put her to bed."

Julia chimed in with, "You really freaked me out, man!" sounding like Tommy Chong.

I put Julia back in bed. I apologized for scaring her and told her it wouldn't happen again. If I was to lock myself outside again we devised a few strategies.

1. Knock on Laura's window.
2. Ring the doorbell
3. Use a secret knock. I tapped out a knock that would be my knock.

If I ever lock myself outside again and I use the secret knock, I just have to hope that Julia still remembers what my knock was.

The next day, Laura took joy in telling people at work what an idiot her husband was for not only locking himself out of the house, but scaring our daughter by knocking on her window. I'll admit it. It was pretty stupid, but as I protested. Even when someone stupidly locks themselves out of the house, there has to be a way of getting back inside.