Here's a short story about having to lie to your kids, which as a parent, you tend to have to do from time to time. Looking back, I now wonder how many times my parents had to lie to us to do things...
...
A while back, it was my birthday. Normally on my birthday we celebrate it like usual with a dinner at Red Lobster. We started this habit because one of my favorite things to eat is Snow Crab legs.
On this day, Laura wasn't interested in going to Red Lobster because she just wasn't in the mood for seafood, so she hinted that I think of another suggestion. I always pass the Cheesecake Factory on the way to work. I had never been there, but since one arrived in the city, I had seen people at work with take out cheesecakes from there.
Seeing as I also love cheesecake, I suggested that we go there. Laura also loves cheesecake, so she was on board. The problem came when it was time to tell Julia where we were going.
She already has some favorite places to go. She's been to Applebee's a few times, so she likes that place. She also loves to go to Red Lobster because she likes to look at the live lobsters in the tank near the front. Getting Julia on board for the Cheesecake Factory took some convincing and when that didn't work, a little manipulation.
I came home from work that day and announced to Julia that we were going out to eat.
"Yay!" Julia shouted. "Where are we going?"
"We going to go to the Cheesecake Factory!" I said.
Julia wrinkled her nose and said, "No! I don't want to go to the Cheesecake Factory!"
"Julia," I said. "You've never even been to the Cheesecake Factory. How do you know that you don't want to go?"
"I don't like the Cheesecake Factory!" Julia said matter of factly.
"Julia," I pleaded. "The Cheesecake Factory doesn't just have cheesecakes. It has chicken strips with fries that you like."
"I don't want to go to the Cheesecake Factory!" Julia exclaimed and did a little hurumph move with by folding her arms with a downward gesture.
I think the problem was that Julia didn't understand what a cheesecake was. I remember when I was a kid, I thought that cheesecakes were made with actual cheese. That surely didn't sound like a pleasant mixture. Little did I know that there was such a thing as cream cheese that was different than the usual cheese. I'm sure that's what she thought, too. We were were getting more and more frustrated with getting her to understand that there were other things than a cheesecake at the restaurant. But looking at it from her side, I suppose if my parents wanted to take me to a place called The Liver and Onions Warehouse, I would have stomped my foot, too.
So I came up with a bit of deception to get the trip moving. It was getting a little late and we didn't want to have to wait for a table. Arguing with Julia had already wasted 10 minutes.
I said, "Okay Julia. We're not going to the Cheesecake Factory."
Laura looked puzzled, "We're not?"
"No," I said, "we're going to the Brownie Emporium."
Julia perked up a little. "The Brownie Em... Em...," she was starting to ask.
"Emporium," I said. "It's a restaurant that specializes in brownies."
"That's right," Laura said catching on. "We're going to a different restaurant."
"Brownies?" Julia asked to herself and somewhat to us. You could see her mulling it over in her 5-year-old mind. She liked brownies for sure.
"Okay!" Julia said. "Let's go!"
So off we went to the "Brownie Emporium". On the way there, I muttered to Laura, "What if they announce 'Welcome to the Cheesecake Factory' to us? Julia will know for sure that she's been tricked."
Laura winced, "We'll just have to see what happens."
As we pulled up to the Cheesecake Factory, Julia asked, "What does the sign say?"
Seeing as she's still learning to read, I said, "The Brownie Emporium" with a flair of my hands.
We got out of the car and walked towards the restaurant. Surprisingly, we were not given a "Welcome to The Cheesecake Factory" greeting at the door. Once we're seated, however, we did get the greeting.
The waiter arrived and said, "Welcome to the Cheesecake Factory! My name is (whatever it was) and I'll be your waiter tonight."
We winced and lookd over at Julia, who gave a little blemish of recognition that the name that was just announced didn't quite jive with what we told her. She gave a brief confused look, but didn't say anything.
Any doubts about the restaurant were dashed when she found out about the chicken fingers and fries, her favorite meal. At desert time, she tried some of our cheesecakes and enjoyed them.
Finally, when we're minutes away from leaving, I asked, "Guess where we just ate, Julia?"
"Where?" Julia asked.
"The Cheesecake Factory!" I exclaimed with a smile.
Julia gave a look of surprise and said, "Ohh!" If she was mad for being deceived, she sure didn't show it. I hated having to lie, but sometimes you need to lie to get this kid to go somewhere she doesn't want to go.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Murphy to go to the vet. Julia assumes death is coming...
Murphy has to go to the vet on Friday. She has a few problems. Rather than go into the details, let's just say that it may be that her diet isn't agreeing with her. I'll have to bring in a stool sample for the vet to check out. Yay for me! We're also going to get her checked out with some blood work to see if she's at risk for chronic kidney failure, which is what killed Moe. They were brother and sister, so it stands to reason that this may be genetic.
I'll be working that day, so Laura and Julia will have to take her in. Laura said that she told Julia that they were going to be taking Julia to the vet.
Julia smiled and asked without skipping a beat, "So she can go and die?"
Laura had been waiting for a response like that ever since we took Moe to the vet and didn't come home with him.
Laura told Julia, "No, she's not going to die! She's just a little sick, so the vet's going to check her out."
Julia thought for a second and asked with the same smile on her face, "And then she'll die?"
Laura laughed and said, "No! She's not going to die!"
Julia asked, "If she dies, can we get a kitty?"
"No! Julia, if Murphy dies, Daddy will be sad."
Maybe it's a little morbid that Julia is taking death to Murphy so loosely, but Murphy hasn't exactly been endearing herself to Julia. Julia will attempt to pet Murphy and Murphy will invariably take a swipe at her while protesting with an annoyed cat chirp.
Suzy and Boris, the two newest cats, let Julia do all sorts of things to them without protest. Even Moe, who I wrote about before, had no problem getting hassled by Julia. In his last week with us prior to getting sick, Julia could pick all twenty pounds of him up and hold him without any protest from Moe.
This isn't the first time that Julia has mentioned Murphy dying. Last year, she asked when we were going to get a new kitty.
I replied, "When one of the cats dies."
Julia though a minute and said, "Okay. I guess Murphy is going to have to die."
I was dumbfounded.
"Hey! That's my cat!"
I would worry, but I seem to recall me not being too shook up by a pet dying when I was kid. I remember my Mom telling Bill and I that she had to put our old dog, Tina, to sleep at the vet. I don't remember Tina much, but I remember her not liking Bill and I much. It's probably because we were young and prone to hassling her. She was old and probably not in the mood to be hassled.
I don't remember the response, but I'm sure it was along the lines of "Oh drag. Can we have some lunch?"
I'll be working that day, so Laura and Julia will have to take her in. Laura said that she told Julia that they were going to be taking Julia to the vet.
Julia smiled and asked without skipping a beat, "So she can go and die?"
Laura had been waiting for a response like that ever since we took Moe to the vet and didn't come home with him.
Laura told Julia, "No, she's not going to die! She's just a little sick, so the vet's going to check her out."
Julia thought for a second and asked with the same smile on her face, "And then she'll die?"
Laura laughed and said, "No! She's not going to die!"
Julia asked, "If she dies, can we get a kitty?"
"No! Julia, if Murphy dies, Daddy will be sad."
Maybe it's a little morbid that Julia is taking death to Murphy so loosely, but Murphy hasn't exactly been endearing herself to Julia. Julia will attempt to pet Murphy and Murphy will invariably take a swipe at her while protesting with an annoyed cat chirp.
Suzy and Boris, the two newest cats, let Julia do all sorts of things to them without protest. Even Moe, who I wrote about before, had no problem getting hassled by Julia. In his last week with us prior to getting sick, Julia could pick all twenty pounds of him up and hold him without any protest from Moe.
This isn't the first time that Julia has mentioned Murphy dying. Last year, she asked when we were going to get a new kitty.
I replied, "When one of the cats dies."
Julia though a minute and said, "Okay. I guess Murphy is going to have to die."
I was dumbfounded.
"Hey! That's my cat!"
I would worry, but I seem to recall me not being too shook up by a pet dying when I was kid. I remember my Mom telling Bill and I that she had to put our old dog, Tina, to sleep at the vet. I don't remember Tina much, but I remember her not liking Bill and I much. It's probably because we were young and prone to hassling her. She was old and probably not in the mood to be hassled.
I don't remember the response, but I'm sure it was along the lines of "Oh drag. Can we have some lunch?"
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Julia gets an allowance
We're trying to instill some responsibility into Julia by requiring her to clean up after herself every now and then. As any parent knows, this is a tough task because kids have a hard time listening anyway. For example, recently I picked up a candy wrapper that Julia had left on the floor and I said, "Do something with this."
Now an average person of average intelligence would have walked over to the trash can nearby and deposited it in the can to forever forget about its previous blight on our carpet. Unfortunately, that's not how a child's mind works. Julia proceeded to walk across the living room and then dropped it on the edge of the carpet, thereby moving the wrapper from one end of the room to the other end.
I exclaimed, "What are you doing? Pick it up and put it in the garbage can!"
Julie sighed, but did go back and grabbed the candy wrapper. The wrapper did make it finally to the garbage can, much to the chagrin of my daughter who doesn't seem to grasp the concept of trash yet. I'll often find band aid wrappers that are sitting on her bathroom counter, which is literally right above where the trash can is. I guess it just didn't occur to her to throw them there. She must have been saving them for some other purpose...
Trying to get her to eat cleanly is another exercise in futility. Every night, Julia gets a small, snack-sized bowl of popcorn. This has been the routine for years in our house. As hard as we try to make this a clean routine, it just doesn't work out that way. I'm often dismayed at how much mess one child can make while eating popcorn. Most people will grab one or two kernels at a time and pop them in their mouth. Not Julia. She grabs a small handful, which then is kind of dragged across her lips into her mouth. It's like watching the Cookie Monster eat. Invariably, the floor becomes littered with broken popped kernels.
I have a fairly new Hyundai Sante Fe. I try to keep it clean, but any effort I put forth in the front seat is always negated by the mess in the back seat, where Julia sits. Since we travel about 25 minutes to work, we usually give her some sort of snack like fruit snacks crackers. Then we'll occasionally get McDonalds or Burger King when we have to travel to another city. Then there are the occasional trips to the mall complete with a cookie. And let's not forget her pre-school, which seems to have ample activities planned that end with a big baggie of treats being sent home with the kids.
These and other chances for snacks leads to a back seat that's almost always in a state of disarray. I'll open the door for her one morning and seemingly overnight, the floor is strewn with fruit snack wrappers, bits of snacks and other pieces of paper.
Speaking of bits of paper, I swear that her pre-school has an agenda to unload a truckload of art supplies...
Last year, when Julia was in her first pre-school class (she went again this year because we didn't want her to start Kindergarten yet), I would come to her locker and almost every day there was some sort of drawing, painting or sculpture. The drawings and paintings were okay, but good God were there a lot of them. We ended up throwing a bunch away, but I swear you can stack up what we saved from that class and it would be 5 feet high. I have several tubs devoted just to the drawings and paintings that Julia brought home. The sculptures were worse because they were always covered with tons of glitter or flakes or glitter flakes or something that glittered while it flaked off when you picked it up. I once joked to her teacher that for Julia's last day I was going to have Julia give her a sculpture that had every conceivable type of glitter or flakes on it, so that when she tried to pick up, a ton would fall off it.
So I digress, but the art projects build up on the seat if I don't remember to take them out and they flake...
Cleaning up with Julia is an exercise in patience in and of itself. Laura always insists that Julia needs to learn to pick up after herself, or she'll end up like a slob. Now I'm sure she didn't quite mean me, even though I was and sometimes still am horrible at picking things up after myself (When not kept in check, I get an array of trash around me that Laura calls a 'sphere of influence.' Just check my desk sometime and you'll see.), but I got the message.
The routine usually goes like this. I tell Julia, "We are going to clean up today before we go anywhere."
Julia will groan and say, "I hate cleaning up. It's so boring!"
I'll tell her something easy like putting her toys away and she'll hem and haw and groan and put it off. Then she'll ask if we can go somewhere or if she can go out and play. Again, I'll remind her to clean. This goes on several times, until I literally have to pull her along with me and I'll have to get her started.
So I was talking the other day to a co-worker about this and she mentioned that her and her husband started to give a weekly allowance to their son, who is six-years-old. He's expected to do his chores and in exchange, he gets an allowance, which he gets to spend on anything that he wants.
I had heard of this 'allowance' ritual, but I was never familiar with it. We never got an allowance from our parents. Our allowance consisted of us getting money sporadically from our parents when we'd beg to go see a movie or go to the school skate night. Most of the time, they'd give us the money, so Mom I'm not complaining. However, I was a little envious of kids that had an allowance. They were usually the kids that had the latest toy that they'd bring to school to show off.
I had also read about allowances in books. Usually, the books that I read were about the misadventures of some school-aged kid (like Henry Huggins), who had to come up with some money fast to either buy a new football or because he had to pay for damages because he accidentally broke something. So he had to pay for it or his parents would find out. The character would beg his parents for an advance on his 'allowance', but was usually shot down.
I tried to come up with an allowance one day when I tallied up a list of things I did around the house (taking out the trash, mowing the lawn) and came up with a reasonable amount, which was 5 dollars a week.
I showed this to my parents who immediately shot it down with no negotiation.
"You don't need an allowance," one of them said. "You already do all of those chores for us for free."
Crap. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Don't give up the candy store and then expect payment. They had a point.
It's just a little frustrating sometimes when you're a kid and you want money. Our parents made the mistake of giving Bill and I our own little cash register banks. They looked like the old style cash registers and worked similarly. You had a slot for each type of coin. You put the money into the slot, pulled the lever and the total changed. At first it was cool because I saw that I had about 4 dollars and some odd cents in change. Then it was a little depressing because I had no outlet for more money. I worried how I was going to get that total up past ten dollars until I struck on a solution: raid the lunch money basket.
Our parents had a lunch money basket above the sink that my Dad would put dollars and change into. It was for us kids to buy a lunch ticket or a daily lunch at school. I ran upstairs and silently as I could retrieved the basket. I fished out some change and snuck back downstairs. Growing bolder, I went back for more and more change. Pretty soon, my total had doubled. Then I got even bolder and snagged some dollars (the machine had a slot for dollars, too). Ka-ching! I was in double digit land...for a few hours.
It was a Sunday and my Dad usually filled up the basket that day. He opened the cupboard and started to retrieve his wallet when he exclaimed, "Who's been taking money out of this basket?"
My Mom asked what was wrong.
My Dad said, "There was a lot more money in here today and now it's almost gone!"
He looked over at us eating and asked, "Which one of you kids took money out of this basket?!"
We all looked at each other and said nothing.
"Which one?" my Dad asked again.
I believe it was my brother, Bill, who gave me up as he saw me put all the money into my cash machine. I was ordered to get the cash machine and empty it. Sadly, I sad goodbye to my short-lived windfall.
(Note: Bill disputes that it was him, although he does remember the incident. My point is, regardless of who turned me in, I was turned in because I don't think I'd be that stupid to turn myself in. Granted, I have incriminated myself before and after but not this time.)
So as I was saying, we thought it would be a good time to offer Julia her allowance. A few Sundays ago, we brought up the topic to her. We explained that we expected her to clean up after her toys and in her room. If she did that, every week she would get an allowance. I had originally thought 5 dollars was pretty decent considering inflation. Laura, on the other hand, lobbied for 3 dollars, which is what we offered her.
The thought of money of her own slowly sunk in and she enthusiastically said, "OK!"
That day, it was like a dream. Julia picked up the floor of the living room upstairs. Downstairs, she worked for over an hour on picking up her toys off the floor and into their proper place. She would keep asking me if she was done, but when I pointed out new things for her to pick up, she didn't complain once! She kept on cleaning and cleaning and at one point even helped me move things to give the basement a good vacuuming. Finally, at the end of the day, Julia asked for her money.
"Can I have my two dollars now for my allowance?" she asked.
There was a wrinkle. Julia had met my allowance offer and counter offered with a lower price. I thought about reminding her that I had offered three dollars, but instead I said, "Okay. You can have your two dollars."
That's what the allowance has stood at.
The next week, things didn't go so smoothly. I mentioned that it was allowance day and that Julia needed to clean up before getting her allowance.
She thought a minute and said, "That's okay, I don't think I want my allowance."
Oh she's good! She re-countered her own counter offer by saying that now she didn't need my money! I'm assuming she thought that this would get her out of her chores, but I had to disagree with her. I reminded her that with our without an allowance, that she would still have to do her chores.
She thought again and finally said, "Okay. I'll take my allowance." With that, she helped clean although with some of the old complaining of "Am I done yet?" and "This is boring."
I guess one week of bliss was all that I was going to get...
Now an average person of average intelligence would have walked over to the trash can nearby and deposited it in the can to forever forget about its previous blight on our carpet. Unfortunately, that's not how a child's mind works. Julia proceeded to walk across the living room and then dropped it on the edge of the carpet, thereby moving the wrapper from one end of the room to the other end.
I exclaimed, "What are you doing? Pick it up and put it in the garbage can!"
Julie sighed, but did go back and grabbed the candy wrapper. The wrapper did make it finally to the garbage can, much to the chagrin of my daughter who doesn't seem to grasp the concept of trash yet. I'll often find band aid wrappers that are sitting on her bathroom counter, which is literally right above where the trash can is. I guess it just didn't occur to her to throw them there. She must have been saving them for some other purpose...
Trying to get her to eat cleanly is another exercise in futility. Every night, Julia gets a small, snack-sized bowl of popcorn. This has been the routine for years in our house. As hard as we try to make this a clean routine, it just doesn't work out that way. I'm often dismayed at how much mess one child can make while eating popcorn. Most people will grab one or two kernels at a time and pop them in their mouth. Not Julia. She grabs a small handful, which then is kind of dragged across her lips into her mouth. It's like watching the Cookie Monster eat. Invariably, the floor becomes littered with broken popped kernels.
I have a fairly new Hyundai Sante Fe. I try to keep it clean, but any effort I put forth in the front seat is always negated by the mess in the back seat, where Julia sits. Since we travel about 25 minutes to work, we usually give her some sort of snack like fruit snacks crackers. Then we'll occasionally get McDonalds or Burger King when we have to travel to another city. Then there are the occasional trips to the mall complete with a cookie. And let's not forget her pre-school, which seems to have ample activities planned that end with a big baggie of treats being sent home with the kids.
These and other chances for snacks leads to a back seat that's almost always in a state of disarray. I'll open the door for her one morning and seemingly overnight, the floor is strewn with fruit snack wrappers, bits of snacks and other pieces of paper.
Speaking of bits of paper, I swear that her pre-school has an agenda to unload a truckload of art supplies...
Last year, when Julia was in her first pre-school class (she went again this year because we didn't want her to start Kindergarten yet), I would come to her locker and almost every day there was some sort of drawing, painting or sculpture. The drawings and paintings were okay, but good God were there a lot of them. We ended up throwing a bunch away, but I swear you can stack up what we saved from that class and it would be 5 feet high. I have several tubs devoted just to the drawings and paintings that Julia brought home. The sculptures were worse because they were always covered with tons of glitter or flakes or glitter flakes or something that glittered while it flaked off when you picked it up. I once joked to her teacher that for Julia's last day I was going to have Julia give her a sculpture that had every conceivable type of glitter or flakes on it, so that when she tried to pick up, a ton would fall off it.
So I digress, but the art projects build up on the seat if I don't remember to take them out and they flake...
Cleaning up with Julia is an exercise in patience in and of itself. Laura always insists that Julia needs to learn to pick up after herself, or she'll end up like a slob. Now I'm sure she didn't quite mean me, even though I was and sometimes still am horrible at picking things up after myself (When not kept in check, I get an array of trash around me that Laura calls a 'sphere of influence.' Just check my desk sometime and you'll see.), but I got the message.
The routine usually goes like this. I tell Julia, "We are going to clean up today before we go anywhere."
Julia will groan and say, "I hate cleaning up. It's so boring!"
I'll tell her something easy like putting her toys away and she'll hem and haw and groan and put it off. Then she'll ask if we can go somewhere or if she can go out and play. Again, I'll remind her to clean. This goes on several times, until I literally have to pull her along with me and I'll have to get her started.
So I was talking the other day to a co-worker about this and she mentioned that her and her husband started to give a weekly allowance to their son, who is six-years-old. He's expected to do his chores and in exchange, he gets an allowance, which he gets to spend on anything that he wants.
I had heard of this 'allowance' ritual, but I was never familiar with it. We never got an allowance from our parents. Our allowance consisted of us getting money sporadically from our parents when we'd beg to go see a movie or go to the school skate night. Most of the time, they'd give us the money, so Mom I'm not complaining. However, I was a little envious of kids that had an allowance. They were usually the kids that had the latest toy that they'd bring to school to show off.
I had also read about allowances in books. Usually, the books that I read were about the misadventures of some school-aged kid (like Henry Huggins), who had to come up with some money fast to either buy a new football or because he had to pay for damages because he accidentally broke something. So he had to pay for it or his parents would find out. The character would beg his parents for an advance on his 'allowance', but was usually shot down.
I tried to come up with an allowance one day when I tallied up a list of things I did around the house (taking out the trash, mowing the lawn) and came up with a reasonable amount, which was 5 dollars a week.
I showed this to my parents who immediately shot it down with no negotiation.
"You don't need an allowance," one of them said. "You already do all of those chores for us for free."
Crap. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Don't give up the candy store and then expect payment. They had a point.
It's just a little frustrating sometimes when you're a kid and you want money. Our parents made the mistake of giving Bill and I our own little cash register banks. They looked like the old style cash registers and worked similarly. You had a slot for each type of coin. You put the money into the slot, pulled the lever and the total changed. At first it was cool because I saw that I had about 4 dollars and some odd cents in change. Then it was a little depressing because I had no outlet for more money. I worried how I was going to get that total up past ten dollars until I struck on a solution: raid the lunch money basket.
Our parents had a lunch money basket above the sink that my Dad would put dollars and change into. It was for us kids to buy a lunch ticket or a daily lunch at school. I ran upstairs and silently as I could retrieved the basket. I fished out some change and snuck back downstairs. Growing bolder, I went back for more and more change. Pretty soon, my total had doubled. Then I got even bolder and snagged some dollars (the machine had a slot for dollars, too). Ka-ching! I was in double digit land...for a few hours.
It was a Sunday and my Dad usually filled up the basket that day. He opened the cupboard and started to retrieve his wallet when he exclaimed, "Who's been taking money out of this basket?"
My Mom asked what was wrong.
My Dad said, "There was a lot more money in here today and now it's almost gone!"
He looked over at us eating and asked, "Which one of you kids took money out of this basket?!"
We all looked at each other and said nothing.
"Which one?" my Dad asked again.
I believe it was my brother, Bill, who gave me up as he saw me put all the money into my cash machine. I was ordered to get the cash machine and empty it. Sadly, I sad goodbye to my short-lived windfall.
(Note: Bill disputes that it was him, although he does remember the incident. My point is, regardless of who turned me in, I was turned in because I don't think I'd be that stupid to turn myself in. Granted, I have incriminated myself before and after but not this time.)
So as I was saying, we thought it would be a good time to offer Julia her allowance. A few Sundays ago, we brought up the topic to her. We explained that we expected her to clean up after her toys and in her room. If she did that, every week she would get an allowance. I had originally thought 5 dollars was pretty decent considering inflation. Laura, on the other hand, lobbied for 3 dollars, which is what we offered her.
The thought of money of her own slowly sunk in and she enthusiastically said, "OK!"
That day, it was like a dream. Julia picked up the floor of the living room upstairs. Downstairs, she worked for over an hour on picking up her toys off the floor and into their proper place. She would keep asking me if she was done, but when I pointed out new things for her to pick up, she didn't complain once! She kept on cleaning and cleaning and at one point even helped me move things to give the basement a good vacuuming. Finally, at the end of the day, Julia asked for her money.
"Can I have my two dollars now for my allowance?" she asked.
There was a wrinkle. Julia had met my allowance offer and counter offered with a lower price. I thought about reminding her that I had offered three dollars, but instead I said, "Okay. You can have your two dollars."
That's what the allowance has stood at.
The next week, things didn't go so smoothly. I mentioned that it was allowance day and that Julia needed to clean up before getting her allowance.
She thought a minute and said, "That's okay, I don't think I want my allowance."
Oh she's good! She re-countered her own counter offer by saying that now she didn't need my money! I'm assuming she thought that this would get her out of her chores, but I had to disagree with her. I reminded her that with our without an allowance, that she would still have to do her chores.
She thought again and finally said, "Okay. I'll take my allowance." With that, she helped clean although with some of the old complaining of "Am I done yet?" and "This is boring."
I guess one week of bliss was all that I was going to get...
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Saw the movies 'The Queen', 'Children of Men' and 'Grindhouse'
I used to be up on all the movies that came out, but then something happened in my life that put a snag into that hobby, which is having a baby (not me, my wife... although I obviously helped kick start the process...)
After the baby came, the semi-regular trips to the movie theater stopped. Also, it seemed that I didn't have as much time to watch movies that I rented, either because of many reasons (our schedules and other factors).
Now I'm trying to make an effort to stay on top of my movie viewing, which is so important on the grand scheme of things, I realize. I would stockpile them and wait until I retire to catch up on them, but I'm sure by then my tastes would have changed drastically.
Last night, we watched the movie, "The Queen", starring Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II. The movie takes place mostly during the days after Lady Diana died in a car crash. Having been stripped of her title as 'Her Royal Highness' (a few references to former HRH), the royal family did what they thought was proper when Diana passed... nothing. Their reaction, especially Queen Elizabeth's, are what move the story along.
Tony Blair had just started as the new prime minister a few months before the tragedy and it's really interesting to see the interplay between the elected officials and the monarchy. They claim that they know what the British people want even though they are sheltered miles away in a vast estate. They continue to claim that the British people will come to their senses, but as the days build between the death and the funeral, the lack of anything from the royal family causes tension between the public and the royal family until they are finally forced to action to make it look like they actually cared for a person they despised.
While I'm sure dramatized a lot, it is still a fascinating and sometimes funny movie about the Queen Elizabeth II and how she handled the death of Lady Diana. I'd recommend it.
...
Keeping with our British theme, Laura and I watched "Children of Men", a movie about a future world in which women are barren and the last birth was 18 years ago. The world is now a place where terrorism runs rampant, immigration is a crime and refugees are caged like animals. The movies protagonist, Theo (Clive Owen) is dragged into a fight to deliver a woman, Kee, who is about to deliver the first baby into the world in years.
The movie starts out a little slow, but the action gets moving fast. The action scenes are amazing in that they were often shot with just one camera following the action, which gives the movie a very tense feel to it as you follow Theo through some very harrowing situations. The action is also very unique. One scene in particular has Theo trying to jump start a car down a hill while people are running after him.
I'm sure some people might scoff at the statements made in the movie. There are many comparisons to how Jesus was born. Also, the themes of immigration I'm sure will turn some people off (as we're going through some pains with this ourselves in this country), but anyone that isn't very easily offended by that should be fine with it.
I really liked this movie. It's exciting and makes you think.
...
I drove to Lincoln a few weeks ago to see the movie, "Grindhouse", with my brother, Bill. We hadn't seen a movie together in a while. After all, with both of us with kid(s), it's hard to coordinate time for a movie, let alone in another city.
Bill secured a sitter for his kids and my kid and we were off to see the movie.
For those of you (all 5) that don't know about the movie, "Grindhouse", I'll explain. "Grindhouse" is a double feature film from directors Robert Rodriguez of Spy Kids and Desperado fame and Quentin Tarantino of Pulp Ficton and Kill Bill fame. The movie is basically split into two parts. The first is "Planet Terror", a movie about a toxic gas that turns those unlucky enough to be infected by it into skin-lesioned, flesh-eating zombies. The second movie, directed by Tarantino, is called "Death Proof", about a guy that kills people with his death-proof car, a car reinforced for stunt work in Hollywood pictures.
Now you might be wondering why we'd want to go see these pictures? Because we were weened on horror and action films, we tend to like unwinding with films that we can turn your stomach or frighten you. Remember, we're the generation with the low work ethic because of our numbness to television, so our fondness for violent pictures shouldn't surprise anyone.
When we got to the theater, Bill got in one line and I got into the next line. We continued talking about whatever it was we were talking about when a woman in front of me asked, "Are you both twins?"
We paused and replied "Yes" at about the same time.
The woman asked, "How old are you?"
We said, "36."
The woman said, "Oh, I have twin boys who are 26."
"Ooohh." We replied politely.
This happens a sometimes when we're together. People are amazed that grown men are twins and have to ask us about it. I don't mind, but Bill sometimes gets a little annoyed by it.
Bill pays for his ticket and I'm still waiting behind the woman with twin boys.
The lady with twins pays for her movie. I move forward to pay and a lady starts to step in front of me.
I say abruptly, "I was next."
The lady that stepped in front of me says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were with her." indicating the lady with twins.
I buy my ticket and start to think. Did she mean that I look young enough to be that woman's son or old enough to be dating her? I wasn't sure if I should be offended or complimented.
The first part of Grindhouse is a zombie flick called, "Planet Terror". "Planet Terror"'s plot revolves around a deadly biological warfare virus that's unleashed over the population of a small Texas town. It turns most of the inhabitants into puss-filled, boil-covered, flesh-eating zombies. The rest of the town has to survive.
It's pretty mindless, but pokes fun at all sorts of action movie cliques. It's a bit gross and over-the-top in it's zombie special effects, but if you can stomach that, it's a pretty fun ride.
One interesting twist to movie is that a go-go dancer named Cherry Darling, played by Rose McGowan, gets her leg amputated early on in the movie. She spends the next part limping around on a makeshift leg made of wood until she's fitted for a gun for the leg. Now if you've seen the trailer or commercials, then you've basically seen every part of this sequence with her leg-gun contraption. So prepare to be disappointed...
Of course, by the time I'm writing this, Grindhouse is now out of the theaters, but oh well...
The next part of Grindhouse is a Quentin Tarantino movie called, "Death Proof". While I'm a big fan of his most well known movie, "Pulp Fiction", I would have to say I was a little disappointed in "Death Proof".
"Death Proof" follows the story of Stuntman Mike played by Kurt Russell, who has a car that's death proof. He uses that car to kill women by slamming into his first victim's car head on.
Now "Death Proof" would be an exciting movie if it wasn't for all the inane dialog that you have to sit through. The movie starts with a bunch of women talking shit with each other about men and relationships and stuff. This goes on literally for about 25 minutes before something interesting happens. You'll literally look at your watch wondering when the action is going to start. I realize that dialog is meant to get you invested in the characters, but this dialog is all loud and ultra-witty to the point where I almost didn't care who theses characters were. Also, I can't remember much about who the different women were supposed to be. By the time, some action happens, it's much too short and I stopped caring long ago.
Thankfully, "Death Proof" has two parts. The second part follows Stuntman Mike as he targets four other women, two of which are stuntwomen and one is a makeup artist (played by Rosario Dawson). The second part starts like the first part with a lot of ultra-loud and ultra-witty dialog. Mercifully, it's a lot shorter and the action starts a lot faster. The movie ends with an extended car chase that's pretty cool and it's a nice payoff that saves the movie from its horrid beginning.
After the baby came, the semi-regular trips to the movie theater stopped. Also, it seemed that I didn't have as much time to watch movies that I rented, either because of many reasons (our schedules and other factors).
Now I'm trying to make an effort to stay on top of my movie viewing, which is so important on the grand scheme of things, I realize. I would stockpile them and wait until I retire to catch up on them, but I'm sure by then my tastes would have changed drastically.
Last night, we watched the movie, "The Queen", starring Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II. The movie takes place mostly during the days after Lady Diana died in a car crash. Having been stripped of her title as 'Her Royal Highness' (a few references to former HRH), the royal family did what they thought was proper when Diana passed... nothing. Their reaction, especially Queen Elizabeth's, are what move the story along.
Tony Blair had just started as the new prime minister a few months before the tragedy and it's really interesting to see the interplay between the elected officials and the monarchy. They claim that they know what the British people want even though they are sheltered miles away in a vast estate. They continue to claim that the British people will come to their senses, but as the days build between the death and the funeral, the lack of anything from the royal family causes tension between the public and the royal family until they are finally forced to action to make it look like they actually cared for a person they despised.
While I'm sure dramatized a lot, it is still a fascinating and sometimes funny movie about the Queen Elizabeth II and how she handled the death of Lady Diana. I'd recommend it.
...
Keeping with our British theme, Laura and I watched "Children of Men", a movie about a future world in which women are barren and the last birth was 18 years ago. The world is now a place where terrorism runs rampant, immigration is a crime and refugees are caged like animals. The movies protagonist, Theo (Clive Owen) is dragged into a fight to deliver a woman, Kee, who is about to deliver the first baby into the world in years.
The movie starts out a little slow, but the action gets moving fast. The action scenes are amazing in that they were often shot with just one camera following the action, which gives the movie a very tense feel to it as you follow Theo through some very harrowing situations. The action is also very unique. One scene in particular has Theo trying to jump start a car down a hill while people are running after him.
I'm sure some people might scoff at the statements made in the movie. There are many comparisons to how Jesus was born. Also, the themes of immigration I'm sure will turn some people off (as we're going through some pains with this ourselves in this country), but anyone that isn't very easily offended by that should be fine with it.
I really liked this movie. It's exciting and makes you think.
...
I drove to Lincoln a few weeks ago to see the movie, "Grindhouse", with my brother, Bill. We hadn't seen a movie together in a while. After all, with both of us with kid(s), it's hard to coordinate time for a movie, let alone in another city.
Bill secured a sitter for his kids and my kid and we were off to see the movie.
For those of you (all 5) that don't know about the movie, "Grindhouse", I'll explain. "Grindhouse" is a double feature film from directors Robert Rodriguez of Spy Kids and Desperado fame and Quentin Tarantino of Pulp Ficton and Kill Bill fame. The movie is basically split into two parts. The first is "Planet Terror", a movie about a toxic gas that turns those unlucky enough to be infected by it into skin-lesioned, flesh-eating zombies. The second movie, directed by Tarantino, is called "Death Proof", about a guy that kills people with his death-proof car, a car reinforced for stunt work in Hollywood pictures.
Now you might be wondering why we'd want to go see these pictures? Because we were weened on horror and action films, we tend to like unwinding with films that we can turn your stomach or frighten you. Remember, we're the generation with the low work ethic because of our numbness to television, so our fondness for violent pictures shouldn't surprise anyone.
When we got to the theater, Bill got in one line and I got into the next line. We continued talking about whatever it was we were talking about when a woman in front of me asked, "Are you both twins?"
We paused and replied "Yes" at about the same time.
The woman asked, "How old are you?"
We said, "36."
The woman said, "Oh, I have twin boys who are 26."
"Ooohh." We replied politely.
This happens a sometimes when we're together. People are amazed that grown men are twins and have to ask us about it. I don't mind, but Bill sometimes gets a little annoyed by it.
Bill pays for his ticket and I'm still waiting behind the woman with twin boys.
The lady with twins pays for her movie. I move forward to pay and a lady starts to step in front of me.
I say abruptly, "I was next."
The lady that stepped in front of me says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were with her." indicating the lady with twins.
I buy my ticket and start to think. Did she mean that I look young enough to be that woman's son or old enough to be dating her? I wasn't sure if I should be offended or complimented.
The first part of Grindhouse is a zombie flick called, "Planet Terror". "Planet Terror"'s plot revolves around a deadly biological warfare virus that's unleashed over the population of a small Texas town. It turns most of the inhabitants into puss-filled, boil-covered, flesh-eating zombies. The rest of the town has to survive.
It's pretty mindless, but pokes fun at all sorts of action movie cliques. It's a bit gross and over-the-top in it's zombie special effects, but if you can stomach that, it's a pretty fun ride.
One interesting twist to movie is that a go-go dancer named Cherry Darling, played by Rose McGowan, gets her leg amputated early on in the movie. She spends the next part limping around on a makeshift leg made of wood until she's fitted for a gun for the leg. Now if you've seen the trailer or commercials, then you've basically seen every part of this sequence with her leg-gun contraption. So prepare to be disappointed...
Of course, by the time I'm writing this, Grindhouse is now out of the theaters, but oh well...
The next part of Grindhouse is a Quentin Tarantino movie called, "Death Proof". While I'm a big fan of his most well known movie, "Pulp Fiction", I would have to say I was a little disappointed in "Death Proof".
"Death Proof" follows the story of Stuntman Mike played by Kurt Russell, who has a car that's death proof. He uses that car to kill women by slamming into his first victim's car head on.
Now "Death Proof" would be an exciting movie if it wasn't for all the inane dialog that you have to sit through. The movie starts with a bunch of women talking shit with each other about men and relationships and stuff. This goes on literally for about 25 minutes before something interesting happens. You'll literally look at your watch wondering when the action is going to start. I realize that dialog is meant to get you invested in the characters, but this dialog is all loud and ultra-witty to the point where I almost didn't care who theses characters were. Also, I can't remember much about who the different women were supposed to be. By the time, some action happens, it's much too short and I stopped caring long ago.
Thankfully, "Death Proof" has two parts. The second part follows Stuntman Mike as he targets four other women, two of which are stuntwomen and one is a makeup artist (played by Rosario Dawson). The second part starts like the first part with a lot of ultra-loud and ultra-witty dialog. Mercifully, it's a lot shorter and the action starts a lot faster. The movie ends with an extended car chase that's pretty cool and it's a nice payoff that saves the movie from its horrid beginning.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
From the Vault: Just file me under Gullible
I'm in the middle of attempting to work on a book, in addition to some other blog posts, so I thought I'd repost this story from my archive, for those that haven't read it. Enjoy! A note about this story. I edited it and added a few new details.
A short time later, I was five dollars richer. My Mom punished Paul by making him pay me the five dollars. Gullible, but richer.
Even as an adult, I'm prone to falling for some trick that I shouldn't fall for.
In my mid-twenties, I was working at Pizza Hut part time.
I had to go downstairs to the manager's office and make a photo copy of some information for him. Seeing as how we were a little slow and I was a little bored, I thought I'd have some fun. I plastered the side of my face to the copying machine glass and pressed the button. The machine engaged and out came a smiling half-face, stubble-chin mug shot of me.
The light from the copying machine was bright, but I had closed my eyes, so I wasn't worrying.
I brought it up and showed it to another employee. He looked at it and laughed.
"Be careful man. You can go blind from doing that," he said seriously.
"Are you serious?" I asked.
"Yeah. I had a friend of mine do that once and days later he lost his vision. It was pretty scary."
My heart fluttered a bit, but then I tried to be rational by saying, "Well, I closed my eyes when I did that, so I think I'm safe."
The guy didn't skip a beat.
"That's what he said, but he went blind anyway."
He must have noticed the shock on my face because I was suddenly getting worried that I was going blind. Indeed, the light was bright from the copying machine. Also, my eyes were still adjusting to the not-so-bright light upstairs so I was seeing that tracer effect that one sees when exposed to bright lights.
He started laughing. "Dude, I'm just messing with you! My friend didn't go blind."
I laughed and said, "Don't do that to me! You're talking to a very gullible guy!"
But I'm not so gullible that I fall for things like chain letters, pyramid schemes and internet scams. At least, I hope it stays that way. When I retire, I probably have a better than the average chance of being one of those guys that gets scammed.
I'll be on the news going, "Well, I got an email from this man in Africa that said that he was in the process of inheriting 18 million dollars and I could have half of it if I only gave him my bank account routing number, my 401k portfolio, my car's pink slip and the deed to my house. I thought it sounded a little fishy seeing as how I never gave this man my email address and didn't even talk to him, but it sounded legitimate."
I'm not saying that I'm gullible, but let's just say that if you were to look the word up in the dictionary, you're likely to find a picture of me next to the word.
I think it all started with my brothers and sisters. Being the youngest of 5 kids, my brother and I received the brunt end of all of the mental torture that could be executed onto siblings. My two older brothers, Joe and Paul, and our in the middle sister, Mara, were masters at manipulation. They loved to play on the fears of a little child, much in the way a cat plays with a mouse before eating it.
As a kid, I'd heard and believed them all.
Break a mirror? Seven years bad luck. I had managed to break 4 mirrors by the time I was 9. I figured I was screwed until my mid-twenties with that streak going.
Swallow watermelon seeds? Uh-oh. That means you have watermelon plants growing out of you
Swallow some gum? It'll rot there forever in your stomach.
Even as an adult, I'm prone to falling for some trick that I shouldn't fall for.
In my mid-twenties, I was working at Pizza Hut part time.
I had to go downstairs to the manager's office and make a photo copy of some information for him. Seeing as how we were a little slow and I was a little bored, I thought I'd have some fun. I plastered the side of my face to the copying machine glass and pressed the button. The machine engaged and out came a smiling half-face, stubble-chin mug shot of me.
The light from the copying machine was bright, but I had closed my eyes, so I wasn't worrying.
I brought it up and showed it to another employee. He looked at it and laughed.
"Be careful man. You can go blind from doing that," he said seriously.
"Are you serious?" I asked.
"Yeah. I had a friend of mine do that once and days later he lost his vision. It was pretty scary."
My heart fluttered a bit, but then I tried to be rational by saying, "Well, I closed my eyes when I did that, so I think I'm safe."
The guy didn't skip a beat.
"That's what he said, but he went blind anyway."
He must have noticed the shock on my face because I was suddenly getting worried that I was going blind. Indeed, the light was bright from the copying machine. Also, my eyes were still adjusting to the not-so-bright light upstairs so I was seeing that tracer effect that one sees when exposed to bright lights.
He started laughing. "Dude, I'm just messing with you! My friend didn't go blind."
I laughed and said, "Don't do that to me! You're talking to a very gullible guy!"
But I'm not so gullible that I fall for things like chain letters, pyramid schemes and internet scams. At least, I hope it stays that way. When I retire, I probably have a better than the average chance of being one of those guys that gets scammed.
I'll be on the news going, "Well, I got an email from this man in Africa that said that he was in the process of inheriting 18 million dollars and I could have half of it if I only gave him my bank account routing number, my 401k portfolio, my car's pink slip and the deed to my house. I thought it sounded a little fishy seeing as how I never gave this man my email address and didn't even talk to him, but it sounded legitimate."
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Aging Baby Boomers making us nuts...
Right before I married my wife, I had a big fixation with the Baby Boomer generation. I had just read the book '13th Gen: Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail?' by Neil Howe and William Strauss and I was pretty obsessed with Baby Boomers.
If you don't know what Baby Boomers are, they are the generation of people born between 1946 - 1964. The authors of '13th Gen' separated the generations by 20 years, so they considered it 1941 to 1960. They listed Generation X as those born between 1961 to 1980. Until I read that book, I never really thought about generations and how others perceive them. It's a pretty interesting book. They basically laid out the realization that history dictates that one generation is given heaps of praise and expections while the one after or before that one is ignored and scorned. To that extent, this ran true for Gen Xers. The Baby Boomers were supposed to change the world and make it a better place. They sort of did, but the book lays out a lot of instances in which they make things a lot worse.
So I started noticing every time a newspaper article highlighted something that Baby Boomers tend to do. I would talk about it with my wife and she'd quickly get irritated because her parents are Baby Boomers and since she was in her early 20s, she never really gave it much thought. She would call me obsessed as I would rant about how much I hate the Baby Boomers.
One article talked about how a lot of women in their late 40s to early 50s are now dressing on the beach a lot more revealing than they used to. I guess they're making up for lost time. One woman is described as purring that it's very sexy. My question would be: to who? Certainly not to us younger people having to look at that. One article I just read said that Sophia Loren at 73 has curves that someone in their 20s would dream about and that people are still swooning over Paul Newman at 83. Who are these people that think this? Probably Boomers that are getting old themselves.
Another article I read talked about how Baby Boomers were going to change how retirement is done (even sexier!) and certainly current ads make you think that they are currently trying to do that.
As Boomers have gotten older, we've been overwhelmed by commercials that appeal to the Boomer lifestyle. They're easy to spot. Take this SUV commercial from a few years ago. We see a couple of Baby Boomers driving the larger model SUV through woods and forests. They are frantically trying to find something. At the end of the commercial, you get the pay off. The lady Boomer takes a snap shot of a wolf with her big telephoto lens. The message being that you deserve to own a big SUV because you have important things to do.
If you contrast that with a commercial from the same company aimed at Gen Xers, you see a different message. A Gen Xer couple is driving the smaller model SUV. They are arguing... about a hat. That's right. The woman hates the man's hat so she throws it out the window. He hightails after his hat in his SUV, jumps out, grabs the dusty hat and puts it on. The message? You're going to do stupid shit anyway because you're young, so why not do it in our sporty SUV?
Even to this day, the commercials aimed at Boomers are becoming more and more pointed that they are not just doing mindless pursuits. A current commercial shows a lady getting out of sporty vehicle and putting on a wet suit. The young hunks are checking her out. She then has three other girls, her daughters get out of the car. All four head to the beach with their surfboards. The message being that you're old, but still sexy even with three kids in tow. By the way, you still surf, so look how cool you've become! Nothing says sexy like young guys checking you out in front of your kids. Who's with me? Okay, that one isn't so annoying as wishful thinking. It wouldn't look so great to see how they probably use the vehicle: to get to work, go shopping, the movies and the golf course.
Every night we see commercials aimed at Boomers retiring, which is only natural because they're all getting old and the first crop of them just retired.
These commercials drive my wife nuts.
Rather than point out that they need to save money for retirement, the commercials again point out that being important people with important stuff to do, they shouldn't be happy just retiring. They need to open their own business! They need to build a sail boat out of scratch! They need to skydive! They need to ski!
One commercial even shows two aging couples flying to the middle of nowhere to go fishing. The guy then tells his buddy that they'll be able to do this whenever they want when they retire.
Isn't this supposed to be time when they're supposed to slow down a little? And does it always have to be overly complicated and dramatic?
Then again, it does make a little sense. After all, they were always labeled as the people that get things done. On the other hand, my generation is alway portrayed as the slackers that get by with minimal work, which I guess is sort of true. It's not that we don't like to work. We just don't want to work all the time.
But think about this, if you are going to retire, do you really want to start over in a new career like farming? Starting a small business is one thing, but these commercials have people launching major business investments when they are more likely to be complaining about their bad hips or the food poisoning on their latest cruise.
What I'm really looking forward to is when my generation gets near retirement age. The generations below mine are going to go nuts watching us take retirement to an extreme level. You'll see commercials where a skater is finally taking the next step and putting down the board. Then you'll see him opening a skate park or starting his own skate shop. You'll see old ladies partaking in roller derby just for kicks. You'll see old sky divers engaging in even more dangerous stunts because just because your life span is almost gone, doesn't mean your thrill of danger is, too. Instead of playing regular curling, seniors my age will be seen using themselves as the puck with their four buddies furiously sliding him or sweeping a path to knock out the other seniors. Instead of seeing us take trips to take pictures that no one will see, we'll take that trip so we can take stupid pictures or video of ourselves doing senseless stunts to post to You Tube.
I'm ready to start taking my extreme cruises where people my age climb the rock wall on deck, but rather slowly, which is fine. I can wait.
If you don't know what Baby Boomers are, they are the generation of people born between 1946 - 1964. The authors of '13th Gen' separated the generations by 20 years, so they considered it 1941 to 1960. They listed Generation X as those born between 1961 to 1980. Until I read that book, I never really thought about generations and how others perceive them. It's a pretty interesting book. They basically laid out the realization that history dictates that one generation is given heaps of praise and expections while the one after or before that one is ignored and scorned. To that extent, this ran true for Gen Xers. The Baby Boomers were supposed to change the world and make it a better place. They sort of did, but the book lays out a lot of instances in which they make things a lot worse.
So I started noticing every time a newspaper article highlighted something that Baby Boomers tend to do. I would talk about it with my wife and she'd quickly get irritated because her parents are Baby Boomers and since she was in her early 20s, she never really gave it much thought. She would call me obsessed as I would rant about how much I hate the Baby Boomers.
One article talked about how a lot of women in their late 40s to early 50s are now dressing on the beach a lot more revealing than they used to. I guess they're making up for lost time. One woman is described as purring that it's very sexy. My question would be: to who? Certainly not to us younger people having to look at that. One article I just read said that Sophia Loren at 73 has curves that someone in their 20s would dream about and that people are still swooning over Paul Newman at 83. Who are these people that think this? Probably Boomers that are getting old themselves.
Another article I read talked about how Baby Boomers were going to change how retirement is done (even sexier!) and certainly current ads make you think that they are currently trying to do that.
As Boomers have gotten older, we've been overwhelmed by commercials that appeal to the Boomer lifestyle. They're easy to spot. Take this SUV commercial from a few years ago. We see a couple of Baby Boomers driving the larger model SUV through woods and forests. They are frantically trying to find something. At the end of the commercial, you get the pay off. The lady Boomer takes a snap shot of a wolf with her big telephoto lens. The message being that you deserve to own a big SUV because you have important things to do.
If you contrast that with a commercial from the same company aimed at Gen Xers, you see a different message. A Gen Xer couple is driving the smaller model SUV. They are arguing... about a hat. That's right. The woman hates the man's hat so she throws it out the window. He hightails after his hat in his SUV, jumps out, grabs the dusty hat and puts it on. The message? You're going to do stupid shit anyway because you're young, so why not do it in our sporty SUV?
Even to this day, the commercials aimed at Boomers are becoming more and more pointed that they are not just doing mindless pursuits. A current commercial shows a lady getting out of sporty vehicle and putting on a wet suit. The young hunks are checking her out. She then has three other girls, her daughters get out of the car. All four head to the beach with their surfboards. The message being that you're old, but still sexy even with three kids in tow. By the way, you still surf, so look how cool you've become! Nothing says sexy like young guys checking you out in front of your kids. Who's with me? Okay, that one isn't so annoying as wishful thinking. It wouldn't look so great to see how they probably use the vehicle: to get to work, go shopping, the movies and the golf course.
Every night we see commercials aimed at Boomers retiring, which is only natural because they're all getting old and the first crop of them just retired.
These commercials drive my wife nuts.
Rather than point out that they need to save money for retirement, the commercials again point out that being important people with important stuff to do, they shouldn't be happy just retiring. They need to open their own business! They need to build a sail boat out of scratch! They need to skydive! They need to ski!
One commercial even shows two aging couples flying to the middle of nowhere to go fishing. The guy then tells his buddy that they'll be able to do this whenever they want when they retire.
Isn't this supposed to be time when they're supposed to slow down a little? And does it always have to be overly complicated and dramatic?
Then again, it does make a little sense. After all, they were always labeled as the people that get things done. On the other hand, my generation is alway portrayed as the slackers that get by with minimal work, which I guess is sort of true. It's not that we don't like to work. We just don't want to work all the time.
But think about this, if you are going to retire, do you really want to start over in a new career like farming? Starting a small business is one thing, but these commercials have people launching major business investments when they are more likely to be complaining about their bad hips or the food poisoning on their latest cruise.
What I'm really looking forward to is when my generation gets near retirement age. The generations below mine are going to go nuts watching us take retirement to an extreme level. You'll see commercials where a skater is finally taking the next step and putting down the board. Then you'll see him opening a skate park or starting his own skate shop. You'll see old ladies partaking in roller derby just for kicks. You'll see old sky divers engaging in even more dangerous stunts because just because your life span is almost gone, doesn't mean your thrill of danger is, too. Instead of playing regular curling, seniors my age will be seen using themselves as the puck with their four buddies furiously sliding him or sweeping a path to knock out the other seniors. Instead of seeing us take trips to take pictures that no one will see, we'll take that trip so we can take stupid pictures or video of ourselves doing senseless stunts to post to You Tube.
I'm ready to start taking my extreme cruises where people my age climb the rock wall on deck, but rather slowly, which is fine. I can wait.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Lots of news: Sanjaya still alive. We get a cat. The Easter Bunny leaves an 'ipod' for Julia. Bill's still a jerk.
Sanjaya is still alive on American Idol after the vote tonight, which is infuriating my wife. She really, really hates that kid, but now there's another person in favor of him in our household
Last night, we were watching American Idol with our daughter, Julia. Normally, she doesn't watch what we watch because by the time Laura gets home when we watch our programs, Julia's already in bed. Tuesday night, Laura was home early, so we watched American Idol.
I documented how I'm firmly on board the vote for Sanjaya bandwagon. What's interesting in how popular he seems to be with little kids in an article I read. Sure enough, when Sanjaya hit the stage, Julia was fixated on him. She beamed, "He was good!" and declared, "The last guy was my favorite!" Keep in mind, she's never seen him before. I guess his smoldering, yet innocent looks eased her mind.
...
We also have just gotten a cat today. As you know, our old cat, Moe, died a few weeks ago. Well, Laura couldn't take it any longer not have a cat that loved her and frankly, I couldn't take her not having one either because she seemed to openly resent any affection our other two cats, Murphy and Suzy, gave me.
So we picked out this cat tonight. He wasn't exactly our first choice (the one my wife was wanting was already gone), but it seemed like fate because he sprinted into our private room at the humane society. The volunteer said that the cat's sheet noted that he was a shy and timid cat. You could have fooled us. From the instant he was in the room, he was purring his heart out. While not the first choice, he definitely won Laura over, so it was homeward bound for him.
It was my duty to get the cat home, which turned out to be no easy feat. I placed his cardboard carrier box in the back seat with Julia. As soon as we started towards home, the cat was meowing and clawing at the box holes like crazy. Julia did her best at calming the poor thing, but he kept clawing. He managed to claw open a hole in the box and was starting to work on an escape when Julia grabbed one of her drawing notebooks and held it against the hole.
The cat stopped clawing while Julia held the notebook. Julia remarked, "Oh my gosh. This is the weirdest day of my life!"
...
Speaking of Julia, the Easter bunny gave Julia an ipod. Well, it's not exactly an ipod. It's a Target-brand MP3 player, but it does the job.
We decided to get an MP3 player for Julia because she's been rather insistent that we listen to her music, which lately is a rotation of five songs played over and over. One of them is Queen's "Somebody to Love" that gets played on an continuous loop that drives you insane. So we got her the mp3 player to listen to. Now we get to hear her lovely singing, which makes us laugh as she mangles the lyrics to every song.
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Bill's still a jerk. For no reason... :)
Last night, we were watching American Idol with our daughter, Julia. Normally, she doesn't watch what we watch because by the time Laura gets home when we watch our programs, Julia's already in bed. Tuesday night, Laura was home early, so we watched American Idol.
I documented how I'm firmly on board the vote for Sanjaya bandwagon. What's interesting in how popular he seems to be with little kids in an article I read. Sure enough, when Sanjaya hit the stage, Julia was fixated on him. She beamed, "He was good!" and declared, "The last guy was my favorite!" Keep in mind, she's never seen him before. I guess his smoldering, yet innocent looks eased her mind.
...
We also have just gotten a cat today. As you know, our old cat, Moe, died a few weeks ago. Well, Laura couldn't take it any longer not have a cat that loved her and frankly, I couldn't take her not having one either because she seemed to openly resent any affection our other two cats, Murphy and Suzy, gave me.
So we picked out this cat tonight. He wasn't exactly our first choice (the one my wife was wanting was already gone), but it seemed like fate because he sprinted into our private room at the humane society. The volunteer said that the cat's sheet noted that he was a shy and timid cat. You could have fooled us. From the instant he was in the room, he was purring his heart out. While not the first choice, he definitely won Laura over, so it was homeward bound for him.
It was my duty to get the cat home, which turned out to be no easy feat. I placed his cardboard carrier box in the back seat with Julia. As soon as we started towards home, the cat was meowing and clawing at the box holes like crazy. Julia did her best at calming the poor thing, but he kept clawing. He managed to claw open a hole in the box and was starting to work on an escape when Julia grabbed one of her drawing notebooks and held it against the hole.
The cat stopped clawing while Julia held the notebook. Julia remarked, "Oh my gosh. This is the weirdest day of my life!"
...
Speaking of Julia, the Easter bunny gave Julia an ipod. Well, it's not exactly an ipod. It's a Target-brand MP3 player, but it does the job.
We decided to get an MP3 player for Julia because she's been rather insistent that we listen to her music, which lately is a rotation of five songs played over and over. One of them is Queen's "Somebody to Love" that gets played on an continuous loop that drives you insane. So we got her the mp3 player to listen to. Now we get to hear her lovely singing, which makes us laugh as she mangles the lyrics to every song.
...
Bill's still a jerk. For no reason... :)
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