The Matrix Reloaded - HBO Plus
This movie was okay. I had some decent action sequences, but then when everyone started defying their abilities in the world, like the shootout on the ceiling, I began to have my doubts. I could have done without the whole rave sequence during the middle that seemed to drag on forever. What the hell was that all about? Machines are coming to kill us, let's have a party!! Shouldn't they be getting ready?
Serial Mom - HBO Comedy
My favorite John Waters movie. Check that. It's the ONLY John Waters movie I've ever had any desire to see. What's not to love about this movie? Kathleen Turner starts the movie off by terrorizing her next door neighbor with graphic screaming phone calls (IS THIS THE PUSSY RESIDENCE? HAVE I DIALED 555-FUCKYOU!) for the most important of reasons, her neighbor took her parking space. Soon her terror antics turn to killing, which is horrific and tounge-in-cheek at the same time. Notable for the appearance of Ricki Lake when she was fat. The female rock group L7 makes an appearance as a tight-pants-wearing rock group appropriately named Camel Toe. I'll give you one guess as to what it refers to.
7:30
Gremlins - MoreMAX West
Zach Galligan stars as a young man whose father gives him a Mogwai, which has three simple rules: Don't expose it to light, Don't give it water and Don't feed it after midnight. Of course, he fails on all three counts and chaos ensues as the Gremlins take over the town. Notable for a short appearance by a young Corey Feldman before he got all corrupted by Michael Jackson. Also notable for the deaths of two townspeople by way of a tractor, but mysteriously are alive in Gremlins 2.
The Core - Showtime West (actually on Thursday)
Hillary Swank stars as a hot-shot pilot that navigates a ship to the center of the Earth to explode 5 nuclear bombs to get the Earth's core spinning again. Before that happens, people with pacemakers die, birds go crazy and people on the Golden Gate Bridge, in the exact center no less (what are the odds?) get cooked by microwaves from the sun. Laughable for it's short time line to build a prototype ship with a made up metal called unobtainium. Get it? It's a metal that unobtainable to the screen writes just used that name. It supposably gets harder the hotter it gets. Things go wrong. People die. And of course, some important safety features have to manually turned on in places that will kill the person that goes. Thank you sacrificial black guy! Not a bad adventure movie, but you'll be scratching your head a lot in this movie. I was after DJ Qualls, who stars as the best computer hacker in the world, borrows someones cell phone, dials a number, blows into a folded up gum wrapper and announces that now that phone has long distance for the rest of its life.
8:00
Hope and Faith - ABC
Nothing special here, but I'd just like to say that I can't believe how an unbelievably corny and unfunny show like Hope and Faith can stay on the air, but Arrested Development needs to win an Emmy to save it's ass.
50 First Dates - MoreMAX
Adam Sandler proves again that you can take a flimsy premise and make a movie out of it. Drew Barrymore plays a lady that loses her memory every single day after an accident on her Dad's birthday. I'd recommend it only to see the sequence where her Dad has to celebrate his birthday everyday by watching the Vikings game on TV and then watching Sixth Sense, which she gives him for his birthday. The thought of them bored out of their minds watching the Six::th Sense while she's engrossed and scared is pretty priceless. Oh and the Walrus totally steals the movie.
The Dead Zone - 5 Star Max
Christopher Walken stars as a man who wakes from a coma with powers to see into the future. Go figure that Walken plays a creepy guy.
8:30
Almost Heroes - Starz Family
One of the worst movies that I've ever seen in a theater, but not the worst. That title goes to Escape From LA.
9:00
Starship Troopers - Showtime Beyond
I saw this movie when I was recently married. We had bought a new bed from the Nebraska Furniture Mart and we were waiting for it. It was supposed to be delivered between 10 am and Noon. Noon came and went. No bed. My wife went to work later that day. Still no bed. I waited and waited. Still no bed. Finally, 7:00 rolled around and Bill showed up to see Starship Troopers. All I could think of was that I couldn't leave, what if the freaking bed showed up? Bill told me not to worry about it because it's probably not coming. However, because I knew that Laura was going to come home while I was at the movie, I had to do something. I wrote a long note about how I waited and waited, but no bed came. Then I had to put our old crappy mattress back on the bed frame. Then I made the bed. I went to the movie with Bill and all I could think of during the whole movie was "I hope to God the delivery guy doesn't show up with the bed while I'm gone." I get home and check the caller ID. Thankfully, no bed showed up and I was free from any possible blame. This was all the stores fault. Oh and the movie was pretty cool. Starship Troopers shoot tons of armored bugs. Which reminds me, why didn't they just uses small ships on the ground instead of ground troops?
9:30
The Shining - Thriller Max West
Steven King openly hated this adaptation of his book, but it's miles scarier than his piece of shit miniseries that was on ABC. So Stanley Kubrick botched up your vision of the book. It's still one of the scariest movies ever filmed that just oozes creepiness. Also, as a twin, the dead twins freaked the shit out of me when I was a kid. I was always scared that I was going to round a corner in a hotel and see dead twins.
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