Armageddon it...

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005

6:00

Armageddon - FX

Bruce Willis stars as the leader of a rag-tag group of eccentric oil drillers sent up in space to save the world from a killer asteroid. In typical over-the-top blockbuster style, the asteroid is going to hit in about 30 days. On top of that, the asteroid is the size of Texas, which has to be blown up by a nuclear weapon, but only a nuke that's inserted 1000 feet into the Asteroid.

There are many head scratchers in this movie, but the one that always kills me happens early on in the movie. Harry, played by Bruce Willis, owns an oil rig business. He finds out that AJ, played by Ben Affleck, is sleeping with his daughter, so he chases him around the oil rig with a shot gun. He's contacted by the US government, so he fires AJ and orders his crew to clean up the rig. 18 hours later, Harry he agrees to do the impossible job of flying up the asteroid and blowing it up, but only if he can use his own crew. There's a snag, however, because they just got paid and they could be anywhere! In the short day after they've gotten paid, all of Harry's guys are scattered around the country. One of them is even as far away as South Dakota on his motorcycle. Hell, AJ even had time to start his own company and be in the process of oil drilling when Harry comes to see him!

Some of head scratchers in this movie:

• When the astronauts are on the surface of the asteroid, they feel almost no gravity. When they're inside the shuttle, there's full gravity. Must be that new gravity feature on those experimental space shuttles.
• The asteroid seems to have earth gravity as evidenced when they are pulling the drilling pipes out of the asteroid when they struggle to pull the pipes out. The asteroid only has no gravity when they need to fly off the asteroid.
• Truman, played by Billy Bob Thorton, is seen in Florida talking with the astronauts prior to their lift-off. Mission Control in Houston takes over once the rocket clears the tower, which begs the question as to how Truman can be in Texas just a few seconds after being in Florida.
• In the shuttle, the seats are too small for the astronauts. There are no head supports for the seats, which would cause their heads to snap off when they hit 12 Gs around the moon.
• After the first shuttle crashes, the crash has fire crackling around the wreckage. Fire needs oxygen to burn, which is unavailable in space.
• The shuttles take off during the day. Everyone in the world is watching it take off on TV and its day everywhere no matter where they are.